he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
