I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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