You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
