so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize