you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
