...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
