$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize