Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
