I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
