Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
