I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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