Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
