It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
