did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
