rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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