Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
