The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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