Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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