I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
