bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
