Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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