I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
