I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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