Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
two words...techno handjob
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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