He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
