you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
