Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
