Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The uberlube is also flammable
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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