Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
