the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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