his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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