My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
