I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I die, sorry about rent.
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