My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
