Pappa wants mamma naked
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
