yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
