Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
