He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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