The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
