So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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