My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
