the condom got lost in my hair
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
