Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
