i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How's work?
Spinning.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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