Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
