I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
