I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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