Someone shit on the floor
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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