Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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