Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize