when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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