what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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