I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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