I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
