Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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