So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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