He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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