Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
