its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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