you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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